just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
