Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
