she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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