So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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