very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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