i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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