So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
