Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
