so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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