Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
