I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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