the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
