Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
