DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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