So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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