She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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