So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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