I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
