"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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