Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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