i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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