Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
