from now on my penis is your penis
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
