First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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