he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
