The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
