After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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