My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
