Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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