I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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