i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
