I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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