I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
