Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
