Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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