Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
