Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
