I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
