So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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