she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
