i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
