i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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