I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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