Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.