Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
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today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
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Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.