why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
