dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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