I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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