she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
