Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
