Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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