She said her name was "party"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
