Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize