After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
