I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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