I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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