talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
