i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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