He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
