wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
