Jerry, you need to find god
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
