I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
