plz talk dirty to me
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
