i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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