We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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